On this page, we talk about pleasure.

On this page:

• What pleasure is
• Pleasure that does not involve sexual activities
• How to experience more pleasure
• Sexual pleasure

Pleasure is about feeling good.

It is one way to look after yourself.

You might think you should be able to experience pleasure easily.

Or that you can only get pleasure from another person.

But you can experience pleasure at any time.

You can let yourself do things that make you feel good.

Some people might enjoy sexual pleasure.

But pleasure does not need to be sexual.

You can get pleasure from other activities.

You might find it hard to feel pleasure after you have experienced trauma.

But feeling pleasure can help you heal after trauma.

Pleasure can make it easier for you to feel:

• calm
• happy.

You might experience pleasure when you:

• have a warm bath with oils and rose petals
• watch a good movie
• drink your favourite coffee
• eat a delicious cake.

You might also experience pleasure when you:

• listen to your favourite music
• buy yourself flowers
• spend time with people you care about
• put clean sheets on your bed.

You can experience pleasure if you pay attention to how an activity makes you feel.

You can try doing an exercise to feel more pleasure in small parts of your life.

It can also help your mind and body to slow down.

This exercise has 4 steps.

Step 1 – Choose an activity you do every day.

For example:

• eating a meal
• washing your hands
• getting into bed before you go to sleep.

Step 2 – Slow down while you are doing the activity.

Let yourself think about how the activity:

• feels
• tastes
• smells.

Step 3 – Slow down again.

Think about the activity a little more.

You might notice that there is pleasure in what you are doing.

Step 4 – Describe the activity to yourself.

You can do this:

• out loud
• in your head.

When you describe the activity, you can think about:

• what made you feel good
• what did not make you feel good
• what you could try next time.

Sexual pleasure on your own is normal.

And masturbating is part of a healthy sex life.

Masturbating can help you learn about what makes you feel:

• good
• not as good.

There is no right way to masturbate.

You might like to use sex toys.

You might also like to use your hands.

You might feel nervous or ashamed to buy sex toys.

That is okay.

Remember that sex and pleasure are normal parts of being human.

You can ask a support person you trust to help you buy sex toys.

You can also try to learn more about:

• your body
• how you might want to experience sexual pleasure on your own.

You can find out more about sex toys and what might feel good on the OMGyes website.

You can find out more about how transgender people can experience sex on the Transhub website.

Sexual pleasure with other adults is also normal.

Before you take part in sexual activities with other people, it is important that everyone gives their consent.

You can always say ‘no’ to a sexual activity.

You might say ‘no’ because you:

• want to do it later
• never want to do it.

You should always feel:

• safe
• in control.

You can find out more on our page about consent.

You might want to experience sexual pleasure with:

• your partner, like your boyfriend or girlfriend
• a sex worker.

  A sex worker is someone you pay to take part in a sexual activity with you.

Your carer might be able to help you connect with a sex worker.

You might decide that you want to try different sexual activities with other people.

It is healthy to talk to the other person about:

• what you need
• what you would like.

It can feel awkward to talk about pleasure.

But it gets easier each time you talk about it.

When you have sex with another person, it is important that you protect yourself from:

• getting pregnant if you do not want to be
• getting a sexually transmitted infection (STI).

  STIs are health problems that people can get through sexual activity.

You can ask your doctor for medical support to protect yourself.

You can also ask your carer to help you make an appointment with your doctor.

You might want to experience sexual pleasure with more than one person at the same time.

You and your partner might choose to include another person in your sexual activities.

A couple might invite you to take part in sexual activities with them.

You might want to go to a party where people take part in sexual activities with each other.

You can ask your carer to help you find information about this type of party.

You can explore pleasure the way you want.

Exploring pleasure is a healthy and normal part of being human.